


The Rainbow Bridge

by LadyDrace



Series: The Dog Walker 'Verse [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Cancer, Established Relationship, Euthanasia, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M, Veterinary Clinic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:37:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2478416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDrace/pseuds/LadyDrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inevitably, Chewie gets old and sick. Gabriel doesn't handle it well. Until he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Rainbow Bridge

**Author's Note:**

> Check end notes for additional warnings, if the tags didn't already clue you in.
> 
> Betaed super quick by Mithrel. Thank you!

“Mr. Milton?” ****

 

Gabriel jumped up with a start and practically ambushed the poor vet. “How is he, is he okay?!”

 

Sam exchanged a look with Dr. Stone, and nodded in understanding. Gabriel was still a trembling bundle of hopeful anxiety next to him, and Sam reached out for his hand when the vet smiled sadly at them.

 

“Chewie is stable for the moment, but... I'm afraid we need to talk. Would you step into my office?”

 

Gabriel looked around at the other people in the waiting room, most of them sending him sympathetic looks, and holding their own pets tighter. And from the way his face fell it was clear that he knew bad news was coming.

 

Sam squeezed his hand tighter, and they walked close together as they went to Dr. Stone's office. The doctor didn't sit down at his desk, choosing instead to sit on a chair, and indicated that Sam and Gabriel should take the couch opposite. They both grimaced. It was never a good sign when doctors wanted you to be comfy.

 

“Mr. Milton... I'm really very sorry to tell you this. But Chewie has cancer. Quite advanced. And given his age, I see very little chance of recovery.”

 

Gabriel blinked and shifted on the couch, as if not quite sure what to do with himself. “But... we could try, right? I mean... don't you have drugs or chemo or... I dunno, _something_?”

 

The doctor sighed. “Yes, and had Chewie been a younger dog, and had his cancer been less advanced, it might have been an option. But as it is... treatment would only delay the inevitable.”

 

There was a loud click as Gabriel swallowed hard, and Sam held his hand tighter. “How long does he have?”

 

“It's hard to say. A couple of days perhaps.”

 

Gabriel made a hiccuping sound, and Sam immediately moved in closer to put his arm around Gabriel's waist, heart aching from the distress quaking through his husband.

 

“And-” Gabriel had to swallow hard again before his voice obeyed him. “And if we try treatment? How long then?”

 

The vet sighed again, clearly sympathetic, but also trying to be realistic. “A week. Maybe two. But he would be in significant pain. How he hasn't given up already is frankly astonishing.”

 

Gabriel was silent next to Sam, but there was no way of disguising the way he trembled against Sam's side.

 

“I am truly sorry,” the vet said again, and Gabriel managed a short nod but nothing more. Sam gave him a minute to compose himself, but when nothing more happened, he took the difficult task onto himself.

 

“What would you recommend we do?” Sam asked, holding Gabriel tighter.

 

“Normally I would suggest you take him home, and let it take its course in familiar surroundings. But his internal organs are already shutting down, and any more time spent waiting for the end will be agony. I could offer pain management, but he would be woozy and uncomfortable, and frankly... as much as I hate to be the one to say this... ending it now would probably be a favor to him.”

 

Gabriel choked out a sob, and Sam pulled him in close, letting the tears soak his shoulder.

 

“Doc, could you give us a minute?” Sam asked softly. Dr. Stone nodded and got to his feet.

 

“Take all the time you need. I'll go check on Chewie,” he said and left them in his quiet office.

 

“Oh, God,” Gabriel groaned between sobs. “He must think I'm some kinda wimp, bawling my face off over a goddamn dog.”

 

The words were callous, but Sam knew Gabriel was just trying to distance himself from the hurt. He'd never known how to deal with loss, and that never seemed to change. Sam held him tighter, and kissed his temple.

 

“Gabe, honey, he's a vet. He sees people crying over their pets every day.”

 

“Even grown-ass men who should probably have had kids by now instead of getting overly attached to canines?” Gabriel mumbled shakily against Sam's shoulder.

 

“Don't be an idiot. Chewie has been with you for almost twelve years. I think he'd be more surprised if you _didn't_ cry.”

 

Gabriel shrugged, not arguing the point. He was quiet for a long time, taking long, shuddering breaths against Sam's neck before he finally dragged himself upright again.

 

“What do I do, Sam? I don't think I can do this. I know I'm being selfish, but I just... I just can't.”

 

Sam stroked Gabriel's side, wanting desperately to soothe the pain rolling off him in waves.

 

“You want me to do this? Make the final call?”

 

“No.” Gabriel shook his head. “No, he's my dog. It's my responsibility. I just don't think I can... I can't watch it, Sam. But I don't want him to die all alone in a strange place.”

 

“I'll stay with him.”

 

“You sure?” Gabriel sent him a pathetically grateful red-rimmed look.

 

“'Course I'm sure. I know you'll be there for me too when...” He couldn't even finish the thought of Bones some day being where Chewie was now without his throat tightening. “I'll go find the doctor,” Sam said, pressing a gentle kiss to Gabriel's lips. “Do you... wanna say goodbye first?”

 

Gabriel shook his head, and clenched his fists in his lap so hard the knuckles turned white. “Can't.”

 

“Okay. Okay. Just... stay here. I don't think it'll be long.”

 

Sam didn't get up until Gabriel managed a shaky nod, and then he went to get it over with.

 

Chewie was lying on the table in the vet's office, his favorite blanket around him, and Dr. Stone gently stroking his ears. As weak as he was, Chewie still wagged his tail when Sam came in, and the doctor stepped away to let Sam have a moment.

 

“Hey there, buddy,” he greeted, voice raspy, and let his large hand cradle Chewie's head, thumb rubbing a still perky ear. Sam glanced at the vet and gave a shaky nod. “It's been decided. I'll stay with him while you do it.”

 

Dr. Stone nodded and started preparing the syringe without saying anything, and Sam was grateful. Nothing could possibly lessen the hurt anyway.

 

“Ready?”

 

Sam steeled himself for giving the final permission when the door burst open, and Gabriel threw himself into the office. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't,” he was babbling, and Sam felt his heart sink at having to have the same painful conversation again, but Gabriel just shoved in next to Sam, and pressed his forehead gently to Chewie's.

 

“I am so fucking sorry, pal, I am such a coward, I was about to just wait outside without even saying goodbye like some kinda dick, what the hell's wrong with me,” he sobbed and cradled Chewie close, careful not to mess up the drip trailing out from under the blanket.

 

Chewie's eyes were glazed from the anesthesia already in his system, and he hadn't had very good eyesight for a few years anyway, but his nose and ears were fine, and he wagged his tail with renewed vigor from knowing Gabriel was there. Sam had to press his palm to his mouth as his lip quivered.

 

“Go ahead, doc,” Gabriel whispered, not looking away from Chewie for even a second.

 

“If you're sure...”

 

“Do it.”

 

Sam could only watch as the light went out in Chewie's eyes, Gabriel cradling the small bundle close, and the vet carefully checking for a heartbeat before detaching the drip.

 

“Stay as long as you need,” Dr. Stone said gently, closing the door softly behind him, but it didn't matter. There was no way anyone in the waiting room outside could avoid hearing Gabriel's heart-wrenching sobs as he grieved for his best friend of over a decade.

 

Sam put his arms around them both and just held them until Gabriel's crying trailed off.

 

“I've never lost a pet like this,” Gabriel rasped wetly. “Never even let myself think it. So what happens now? I have no idea.”

 

“Well, you can have him buried somewhere. Or cremated, and keep his ashes if you want,” Sam explained quietly.

 

Gabriel shook his head. “Nah, that's kinda creepy.” He looked down at the lifeless lump in his arms, and hiccuped out another sob. “Chewie's not... he's not in here anymore. But I don't...” he shrugged helplessly, and Sam nodded in understanding.

 

“We can just leave him here, and they'll take care of it.”

 

“Take care of it?”

 

“Usually they cremate. But I'm sure you can arrange for something different if you want.”

 

It was quiet for a while as Gabriel considered it. “Cremate sound good,” he whispered eventually, gently placing Chewie on the table again, blanket wrapped tightly around the small body. Gabriel swallowed hard a few times before reaching out to unclasp the old and well-worn collar, sliding it off with shaking hands before untucking the corner of the blanket and covering Chewie's head.

 

“Could you... could you handle the...” he waved his hand vaguely, and Sam nodded.

 

“I'll take care of it.”

 

Gabriel nodded and took Sam's hand for a brief squeeze before turning on his heel and leaving the vet's office without looking back.

 

* * *

 

Sam walked on eggshells around Gabriel for the next few weeks, but apart from occasionally seeing him stroking a thumb over the collar he kept in his desk drawer at home, Gabriel seemed like his old self, if a little subdued.

 

Bones was another matter entirely, and he spent several days whimpering at where Chewie's bowls used to be, and his favorite spot on the couch. Gabriel absently petted the heavy head every time it was planted in his lap, and it seemed to Sam almost like Bones was doing the grieving for Gabriel.

 

Whatever the case, around a month after saying goodbye to Chewie, Gabriel steeled himself suddenly on the couch next to Sam and said to the air: “I think I need a new dog.”

 

Sam lowered the volume on the TV and turned to face him. “Are you sure? You're not just... rebounding?”

 

Gabriel actually took a moment to think it over. “No. No I don't think so. There'll never be another Chewie. But I need something small and obnoxious like me around here. Don't get me wrong, Bones here is a top notch dog, but he's not _mine_.”

 

Bones panted up at him, as if agreeing, and wagged his tail when Sam petted him too where he was comfortably tucked in between them.

 

“Okay. If you're sure.”

 

“I am,” Gabriel said firmly. “And I want a dog that looks nothing like Chewie. I think... it would hurt too much to have one around that looks like him.”

 

Sam nodded and reached for Gabriel's hand.

 

“We'll find you the right one. Together.”

 

End.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, Chewie gets old, gets cancer and has to be put to sleep. I go through the process in some detail, so beware of triggers. There is talk of injections, drips, cremations and burials.
> 
> Gabriel does not handle the goodbye very well, but it ends on a lighter note.
> 
> AND I PROMISE THAT FLUFF IS COMING UP SHORTLY TO MAKE UP FOR THIS SADNESS!


End file.
